Trinidad | Rishi Sankar: Ah Trini Travelogue / Ah Trini Traveller

Corbeaux doh eat sponge cake … Johnny Walker Black and Trinis

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May 082012

This morning while in the line to head to the US, I met a Trini and we chatted and followed the typical Trini social script, then he invited me to his house for a drink … no problem, right? He mentioned that he had a 1.75L bottle of Johnny Walker Black, we could polish off with Coconut Water. So this got me to thinking about Trinis and Scotch!

Trinis have an affectation for scotch, you’ll note I don’t use the word affection. This is because the unofficial drink of the Trini masses is Johnny Walker Black and coconut water. I do love a freshly chopped Coconut from the cooler, I really cannot stand the taste of coconut in anything else … and if the coconut water isn’t fresh, it immediately starts oxidizing. I don’t put much stock in the “moldiness” of it, however I do put stock in the fact that the older the coconut water, the more rancid it tastes.

In Trinidad, the official drink of Trinidadian men as long as I’ve been able to remember, is Johnny Walker Black and coconut water. I don’t know how people can stomach this shitty drink … for example in Trinidad, you will actually see people going to a fete to drink Johnny Walker Blue Label with coconut water. Anyone with a taste for decent scotch will pass on a Black and Coconut water … but this goes back to Trinis and their affectation for scotch.

We make great rum back home … Angostura 1919 or 1824 are very good rums that go well with cola or even coconut water, yet the desire to seem “uppity” or “bourge” (short for bourgeouise) has driven the middle class non-intelligensia to scotch because of that class connotation. There are even songs about Johnny Walker and coconut water, of course by Rikki Jai.

Even worse, is the drinking of Johnny Walker Red Label … it is akin to drinking paint thinner, but the review is basically that you always mix this and not sip it. I’m ok with Johnny Red … because no one ever claims it to be good, but the painting of Black to be good is also quite insane to a Single Malt drinker.

Then again, I’m not really the greatest fan of Johnny Walker Blue Label either

I’ve endured many a marathon drinking session watching people drink Johnny Walker Black and Coconut water … in fact, I even offered my younger brother samples of two very good peaty Single Malts : Lagavulin 16 and Oban 14, which are quite decent by anyone’s palate, but he pronounced it undrinkable … in fact, his words were “this tastes like shit!!” … proving yet again a Trini Proverb …

“You can take an ass to water, but you can’t make him drink!

Here is an awesome Trinidadian rationale about why we love Johnny Walker Black by a Disgruntled Trini (Note the Trini lingo in here)

Reason being is because Trinis are a set of waggonist

most if not everyone break out with rum and coke
but somebody tell yuh that Johhny is the real thing and convince you that Johnny is the real scene
you didn’t find out for yourself it was not a natural progression it was just waggonist behavior

In the big scheme of things Johnie Walker is cheap scotch that is not world ranked and in truth and in fact Johnie Walker Red is more popular but is hardly seen in Trinidad. Secondly Trinis is the only people that does drink Johnie and Coconut and Johnie and _______.

My folks recently went to Scotland and they said they did not even see Johnie Walker. When they went out to drink Scotch the glass was warmed and you drank it neat.

I guess it is the power of advertising that makes people feel that Johnie Walker is the epitome of Scotch. What does real piss me off is the Corbeaux and sponge cake attitude of Trinis. The people who does go party and rum shop and drink rum and beers and will never buy Johnie Walker for themselves weather it be for monetary or some other reason. Those same people as they reach in a wedding or buy a padna house the fuss thing they reaching for is the Johnie Walker and will drink it till they vomit.

I do love the phrase Corbeaux and Sponge Cake … since it means that it does not matter how well intentioned the act, the individual is incapable of appreciating something for what it is.

Anyway … here’s hoping that your next drink will be a good one …. and here is my Shameless plug for Glenfiddich Explorers for 24 hours in Barcelona or Palau

J’Ouvert morning 2012 … Blow yuh whistle, Knock yuh bottle

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Mar 062012

Before any discussion about J’Ouvert morning – hit play on the video. This has be to discussed against the backdrop of this song.

I’ll disclaimer myself … I am not a J’Ouvert expert. In fact, I think any foreigners who’ve visited Trinidad more than three times for the Carnival, have more J’Ouvert experience than myself. This is for a couple reasons

None of my Indian friends growing up played J’Ouvert
All Indian parents in Trinidad, south of the Grand Bazaar, think that you will get raped, pregnant, stabbed or shot during the wee hours of J’Ouvert
The stereotype was that only poor black people played in J’Ouvert. BTW Completely wrong!!!
Jab Molaissie would give you the “evil eye”

You get the idea now as to why I’m a fete/Carnival veteran but not a J’Ouvert veteran. J’Ouvert is the closest thing Trinidadians have to Halloweeen (Note – I’m not referring to the faux Halloween parties that the copy cat Trinidadians are doing to mimic Americans and what they see on TV)

How and why to play J’Overt??

This is a great question … and I have two answers for you.

I typically fall behind a J’Overt band, since there is some security with the trucks. This is the cheapest approach, since it costs NOTHING. Walk with your bottle of desired drink and chip behind a band. If you wear an old plain white T-Shirt … people will toss paint, cocoa and oil all over you. No money required.
For those who are doing it for the first time – I would recommend playing with a J’Ouvert band. There are many all inclusive bands that can cater to your whims and provide the illusion of safety for you.

There are also J’Ouvert celebrations all over the country. You don’t have to play mas in Port of Spain … but it definitely will not be as busy. There is a trade off with these things in Trinidad. Less people = less opportunity for danger = less energy and the reverse of that equation also applies.

Did I mention that J’Ouvert will also be the cheapest and probably most cultural of all your Carnival experiences? J’ouvert bands congregate around main themes - there are mud bands, paint bands, oil bands, baby powder bands, and most recently chocolate bands! Each band smears themselves in the coverings of their choice and dances through the streets looking for ‘victims’ to smear and throw stuff on. Did I mention that playing in a J’Ouvert band is also cheap … not as cheap as FREE (as my guys did!) but you’ll probably pay less than 50$USD for the entire experience.

J’Overt is also an early morning experience. If you party hard on Sunday night and you’re expecting to do J’Ouvrt also … then I wouldn’t even bother sleeping … since you’re going to be up at 2-3am for a 5 hour stint down the streets of Port of Spain. Note the sunrise in the picture below …

A couple tips

Don’t wear anything you expect to keep or that you like the look of … it will be stained, painted or ruined.
Assume that everything you wear will need to be thrown away … including your shoes (unless you bought specific shoes for J’Ouvert … then you’re a BOSS!)
Wear sunscreen and baby oil on your skin. It will ensure that you can get the paint, oil, powder off your skin. The end result of J’Overt can look something like the pictures below

Also always be aware of where you are and who you are with. Good friends don’t leave anyone behind for other people to make fun of …

Here is a bit more .. with 3Canal and more J’Overt imagry

Here is a link to all our J’Ouvert pictures : http://www.rishisankar.com/Parties/Trinidad-Carnival-2012/JOuvert-2012-February-20th/21554006_R5FVXR

Good morning and fuck you “IslandPeople” … Girlpower 2012 fete review – February 17th, 2012

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Mar 052012

I had to think long and hard about how to express and post my utter contempt for IslandPeople and their horrible organization at last night’s event GirlPower. I for one will NEVER ever attend or RECOMMEND an IslandPeople event again – in fact for the next three years, I’ll set a reminder to write a post to remind people that IslandPeople doesn’t give a shit about them and their hard earned money. You can e-mail these jackasses here: info@islandpeoplemas.com – of course, don’t expect a response. Here was the preamble in the Guardian … if you know you can’t deliver, then move the fete.

For instance, at the time of writing this blog, Tribe had their own difficulties with PR and communication … will they change? Absolutely not … since they don’t have to change … after going to GirlPower 2012, I see that a lack of concern or attention to negative feedback is endemic through the “big band” and “big fete” organizations. Why should they give a shit about the consumer when :

One segment of the population will take out “Carnival Loans” to be seen in fetes
Another segment of the population robs from another segment to get the money to fete
Another segment only looks for foreign man/woman to help their escape from the shit that Trinidadian society has become

My final point here to fete promoters and band promoters : YOUR PROBLEMS ARE NOT MY PROBLEMS. IF I CAN’T PAY YOUR PRICES, DO YOU ASK WHY I COULDN’T PAY? NOPE … YOU DON’T GIVE TWO RAT’S ASSES … HENCE I COULDN’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS, IF YOU CAN’T DELIVER!!!

Anyway back to my rant. When I think of an “All Inclusive” fete … I’m NOT expecting that the event organizers will open the doors to “VIP” people at 11:20pm and midnight for “General Admission”.

The VIP section was a joke … uttery fuckery. There were almost as many VIP people are there were general admission and of course how they separated the crowd at floor level was yet another disaster. Coming into the VIP area, nothing was setup till after midnight in terms of food and bars. You pay for the VIP section so you have better customer service, faster food and less people in your section. It’s as simple as that. If you make the entire fete VIP, then do it like Moka. At least Moka, while expensive – you get absolutely what you paid for.

At this time, the food stalls weren’t even ready for opening, which created a huge backlog that kept going for the entire night. Again, a bit of perspective needs to be applied here … this isn’t world hunger or genocide in Darfur … just some poor organization, horrible service and completely assuming that Trinidadians are asses and will accept anything. (For all intents, they will … since even a terrible sound system, poor event planning, 30 minute line ups for food, segregating the stage level with a fence, malfunctioning toilet facilities. Note that the picture below was just after 11:20pm and the lines are building up … even with very few stalls for food.

At 11:45pm on the General Admission side … this was the scene … 11:45pm!!! Dark and completely deserted with 1000′s of people waiting like assholes on the outside.

By 12:30am on the VIP side, it was a complete madhouse with much, much more people on the VIP side than the General Admission side, because the General Admission people were still trying to get in.

Of course, the disorganization was endemic. Even when trying to patrol a fire exit and safety concern … here is the following video (Derek from IslandPeople was polite enough to ask if I was recording the scene and of course I couldn’t use my blog’s name, then tried to explain the situation – which was useless …. the perception of the situation was poor and explaining a shitty situation to pissed off people is useless)

As for the routines and stage performances, everyone gave their canned typical performance since I forgot that Soca Monarch was on the same night … Kes, Destra and FayAnne all gave good performances….here is Kes’ routine again with the Rabbit. (I saw this routine at Tribe Ignite, GirlPower, Triniposse and Moka – I was sick of it by the end … but that’s not Kes’ fault)

At 5am or so … the show finished after Destra … no announcement was made. Machel, of course didn’t show up … typical! OF course, no one offered any apology, fruit fly or anything … it just time to get the fuck out of the fete. We didn’t even try waiting for food, because the lines were a mile long.

So IslandPeople … FUCK YOU and YOUR FETE. NEVER AGAIN! I HOPE OTHERS READ THIS. Trinidad Carnival Diary has the same opinion as I do on your fete skills.

GirlPower 2012 Pictures

Carnival Tribe is not about Carnival … it’s about printing money and pushing THEIR idea of the Carnival experience

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Feb 242012

Carnival Tribe is not about Carnival ... it's about printing money and pushing THEIR idea of the Carnival experience

Playing mas in Trinidad is a bucket list highlight for many people, especially those second and third generation Trinidadians who’ve only heard about how great Trinidad Carnival is while playing mas in New York, Toronto, Miami etc. As a veteran “fete sket“, I’ve crossed the stage multiple times with Poison and now Tribe and to [... Click here to keep on reading this article]

Moka Explosion 2012 – What can $1500 buy for you?

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Feb 222012

Moka Explosion 2012 - What can $1500 buy for you?

After all the Carnival festivities … it’s back to the rest of fetes for the Carnival season prior. As much as I might complain about the prices of this fete every year … it does guarantee a phenomenal all inclusive experience and is one of the two “Be Seen” fetes on Carnival Sunday (The other [... Click here to keep on reading this article]

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