When leaving Tortola by ferry to St Thomas, one has another number of things to be aware of.
- Be aware of the usual complete Island disorganization, lack of adequate signage and the general customer service skills associated with a jackass, donkey or alpaca. Customer service in the islands (any god damn island in the West Indies) only operates at three levels
- Disdain & Incompetence
- Utter stupidity combined with disdain and incompetence
- White people awareness and attention
Generally, unless you’re a foreign person of whiteness, local white associated with an island or a well known singer/cricketer/politician, one will generally get the customer service in the first two categories.
- Buy a return ticket. Don’t attempt to buy one way tickets. If you know the times that you want to return and leave, then buy the return ticket on one ferry line (Native Son, Smiths or Fast Ferry).
- If you buy a one way ticket to go, then it means you will have to buy a one way ticket to come back. This means that you’ll have to get into a stinking, steaming pile of humanity, figure out which ferry and what time you’re going and then deal with customs twice – once on the US side at St John’s or St Thomas, then you will have to deal with customs again, when boarding your plane
- Unless you’re looking to get soaked or work on your tan, do not go on the upper decks of the ferry. There are some nice pictures of the islands from the top deck but if you’re alone then you’re better off on the bottom deck.
- Buy some water before you get on the ferry, because it is going to be hot and sweaty on that ferry.
- If the following sequence of events occurs
- Buy ferry ticket from one ticket counter because you are directed to so
- You assume that because you were directed to buy a certain ferry ticket and follow the aforementioned advice of the sales person, that you don’t need to double-check the ticket, because they are supposed to do their job
- Then board the ferry assuming that it would be for the desitination and time you were told … no one checks your ticket for accuracy, they just take the ticket (BTW … WDMC??)
- Then talk to a passenger inquiring about traffic in Charlotte Amalie, only to be told that the ferry is going to Red Hook (Otherside of the island)
- Then get off the ferry, find the sales clerk and proceed to say … “What sort of FUCKERY makes you so retarded!!!”
- The sales clerk proceeds to snicker at the mistake and gives you a “Sorry man .. my bad … but why all you Trinis have to get on so … it’s a small thing”
- Do not reply with “If it’s a small thing, it might be what your husband have, or small thing would not be used to describe you or small thing might the “FUCKERY” that make you so retarded … is that a small thing, you describing … but for your information, me missing my flight back home to civilization is not a small thing … you check” The reason not to reply like this, is not because of shame or disgrace, but because of the overwhelming guilt you’ll feel at making a hard back woman cry.So here is my apology to all Native Son ferry line staff in the British Virgin Islands …
I’m sorry for making your staff, cry!!! My bad!!
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